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Every Zombie Eats Somebody SometimeEvery Zombie Eats Somebody Sometime

November 30, 2010
Harper Paperbacks
Illustrated by Jeff Weigel
ISBN-10: 0062011820
ISBN-13: 978-0062011824

Who says zombies don't have feelings? Losing a limb might not hurt them, and they don't seem to mind being shot, but that doesn't mean the undead can't love, right?

Every Zombie Eats Somebody Sometime is a collection of over two dozen classic love songs aimed right at the rotting hearts of zombie romantics everywhere. Perfect for a cozy evening at home with an infected loved one, this book is sure to get the blood pumping and the juices flowing in even the most decayed zombies.

With timeless tunes such as "I Want To Eat Your Hand,"
"Tears of a Zombie Clown," and "That'll Be The Day (That I Make You Die)," and heart-melting illustrations to go with each song, Every Zombie Eats Somebody Sometime is destined to be an apocalyptic classic!

Read an Excerpt Every Zombie Eats Somebody Sometime

Fifty Ways to Eat Your Lover
You're the One That I Chomp

 

The Legend of Blue JacketFifty Ways to Eat Your Lover

Sung to the tune of “Fifty Ways to Leave Your Lover”

“The problem is all because you're dead,”
She informed me.
Brain love is easy when you
Become a zombie.
I'd like to kill you as you struggle
To eat me.
There's at least fifty ways
To eat your lover.

She said it's really not my desire
To steal food.
Furthermore, I hope my feeding
Won't be considered rude,
But I'll treat myself
At the risk of being crude.
There must be fifty ways
To eat your lover.
Fifty ways to eat your lover.
You just tear off his back, Jack.
Chomp on a hand, Stan.
You don't need to be coy, Roy.
Just get yourself free,
Pull out his guts, Gus.
You don't need to digest much,
Just bite off a knee, Lee,
And be a Zombie.

She said it bothers me too
To see you not eat brains.
I wish there were some here I could catch
To make you eat again.
I said I'll decapitate that
And would you please be plain
About the fifty ways.

She said the Zombies will
Just chew on it tonight
And I'm certain in the morning
You'll see the zombie blight.
And then she bit me
And I knew that she probably was right.
There's at least fifty ways
To eat your lover.
Fifty ways to chew your lover.

 

You're the One That I Chomp

Sung to the tune of “You're the One That I Want”

Him: In the Hills.
We're multiplyin'.
And have lost all losin 'control.
'Cause the virus
We're supplyin',
It's undeadafyin!

Her: I better eat up,
'Cause I need a brain
And my heart is set to chew.
You better wake up;
You better reanimate
For my heart it must be chewed.

Him: Nothin'left, nothin 'left for me to chew.
Both: You're the one that I chomp.
(You are the one I want), o,o, oo, Zombie.
The one that I chomp.
(You are the one I chomp, chomp), o,o,oo, Zombie.
The one that I chomp.
(You are the one I want want), o,o, ooooo,
My Zombie needs.
Oh, yes I bleed.

Her: If you're filled
With intestines,
You're too eager to slay
Reanimate in my direction.
Peel your way.

Him: I better eat up,
'Cause I need a brain
Her: I need a brain
That can keep me dead inside.
Him: I better eat up
If I'm gonna chew
You better chew
Love of brains is justified.

Him: Oh, I'm sure?
Both: Oh, I'm sure down deep inside.
You're the one that I chomp.
(You are the one I chomp chomp), o, o, oo, Zombie.
The one that I chomp.
(You are the one I chomp chomp), o,o,oo, Zombie.
The one that I chomp.
(You are the one I chomp),o, o, oo
The brains I need.
Oh, yes I'm freed.

Every Zombie Eats Somebody Sometime


 

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Reviews & News

The perfect book to take to a karaoke bar and mess with people's minds, presumably before eating them.
~ Unshelved
Read the full review

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Check out the interview from New York Comic Con 2010, in which Michael shares about Every Zombie Eats Somebody Sometime.

 

Enjoy the "All the Single Zombies" video in celebration of Every Zombie Eats Somebody Sometime.

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