During Banned Books Week, I’m pleased to announce a special guest blog (rap) by Sir Read-A-Lot.
It’s best sometimes to just let your guest blogger take it away. So take it away Sir Read-A-Lot
Oh. My. God.
Becky, look at her book
It’s so big
She looks like one of those readers
Who understands those readers?
Guys only talk to her because she looks like a total intellectual.
I mean her book.
It’s just so big.
I can’t believe it’s so thick.
It should be banned.
I mean, it’s gross.
Look, she’s just so smart.
I like banned books and I cannot lie
You other fellows can’t deny
That when a girl walks in readin’ Tolkein
And turns another page
Your bell’s rung.
Wanna read up tough
Cuz you notice that book was stuffed
Deep in the brains she’s showing
I’m hooked and I can’t stop knowing
Oh, baby I wanna read with ya
And get a library card
My homeboys tried to warn me
But that book you got
Make me so knowy
Ooh, page is smooth and thin
You say you wanna get in my head
Well read to me, read to me you ain’t that average girl see?
I’ve done read Dickens
An he ain’t no Slim Pickens
Good writers make you sweat,
get you goin like a turbo vette
I don’t like book banners
Saying these b00ks aren’t the thing
Take the average reader and ask that
And we readers gonna punch back
So Fellas (yeah) Fellas (yeah)
Has your girlfriend got the book? (heck yeah)
Well read it, read it, read it, read it, read that big fat book
Read Bannned Books
(Library place or bookstore booty)
I like’em thick and big
And when I’m throwin a gig
I just can’t help myself
My shelves so full I’m crammin’
One more book that’s jammin’
I wanna take books home
And UH, read all night and day.
And I am talkin bout ALL day
Cuz books are better than toys
I wannem real thick and juicy
So find that book in trouble
Make book banners rubble
Ban a book we gonna rumble
And you be taking a tumble
So I’m lookin’ at book shelves now
And I ain’t understandin’ how
You can have them narrow minds
Trying to take my book away
A word to the thick book banners
I’m gonna get in yer grille
And it won’t be no thrill
But I gotta be straight when I say I wanna —
Read til the break of dawn
This book’s got it goin on
A lot of wimps won’t like this tome
Well shut up and go home
But I’d rather read and say
Get a book that’s long and strong.
And I’m down to get the fiction on.
So ladies (yeah), Ladies (yeah)
Do you wanna read in my library? (yeah)
Then turn a page
Give a shout
Every reader’s got to shout
DON’T BAN BOOKS
(Library face with the bookstore booty)
When it comes to readers
Dewey decimal ain’t got nothin to do with my selection
I know where to look
To get my book
So your girlfriend reads a Potter?
Could anything be hotter?
Mark Twain got a style that makes my head spun.
I go through books, like some kind of Attila, hun.
You can read Sci-Fi or Romance novels, but please don’t lose that book
Some banners wanna ban that hard book
And tell you that the book ain’t good
So they toss it and leave it
And I pull up quick to retrieve it
And I say that book is phat.
And I am down with that
Cuz you read books big and small and your brains are kickin
And I’m thinkin bout stickin
To the Jack and the beanstalk, zing
You aint it miss a thing
Toni Morrison, I can’t resist her
And I try not miss her
Some knucklehead tried to dis her
Cuz her books is on my list
You ain’t gonna stop me readin’ this
So pull up and get gone hick
Don’t ban no books in my town
Unless you wanna triple X throw down
Then ban a book and it’ll get hot,
Read Banned Books
Read Banned Books
Read Banned Books